HOW TO TALK TO CHICKS (ON XBOX LIVE)
A HANDY GUIDE FOR THE VERBALLY CHALLENGED  

Hey gents, It’s KP1gl37 again with more words of wisdom to share about the female species. This article is written for those men who still think that the word “girl gamer” is an oxy-moron. The dudes who love to smack talk gamer chicks on Xbox Live, while also whispering sexual innuendos into the mic (eww, btw). Based on my experiences playing on Xbox Live, it seems like some of you guys need a 101 on talking to chicks.  So next time you hear a female voice over your headset, I hope you will remember these words of wisdom.

1. We are not your personal 900#
Don’t even think about it. Just because we are women and have a microphone strapped to our heads and a furiously vibrating controller near our laps, it does not mean that we want to talk dirty to you. In no circumstances is it EVER appropriate to whistle, cat-call, proposition, or otherwise verbally molest a fellow gamer just because they happen to have a vagina. Would you threaten to “teabag” a gamer named blaDes oF KRAT0S or ask him if he wanted to “smoke your cock?”  No, you probably wouldn’t. So don’t ask someone with the name CUT3 K1TTY either. Seriously, smack talk our game play if we deserve it, but the pervy stuff…come on…it’s not even original. BTW, the answer to “do we want to smoke your cock” will always be no, so just stop asking.

2. Yes, we ARE girls. Thanks for the reminder.
Now, we know you're not exactly used to us playing on your turf, and we can catch you a little off-guard sometimes. We also know that you may not be aware that we are women by our screen names alone. After all, gamer chicks (thankfully) don’t ALWAYS choose gamer tags like PrettyPrincess17. We realize that you may not be expecting a female voice to come out of AzzKikR35. You do not however need to yell, “You’re a chick?!!” when you discover we aren’t a dude. We know. We don’t need you to tell us. And yes, we can kick your ass. But when we do, you don’t need to say “I just got beat by a girl” as if it were the low point of your gaming career.  Woman can do shit too. Get over it.  A hardcore gamer is a hardcore gamer. Period.

3. Don’t Even Think About Pussy Girl Rules
Yes, we can play the games you play. Yes, we can play them just as well as you and we don’t always have to play on “easy”. Don’t believe me? Try playing against the Frag Dolls, the PMS Clan or any of the Xbox GamerchiX and see how long it takes before they hand you your nuts. Don’t assume that just because we are women that we are an easy target. If we are on Xbox Live, then we are expecting to play a competitive game. You CAN trust us to guard the flag. We don’t need to huddle in the corner until the coast is clear. We understand strategy and teamwork. We know what “flank”, “frag” and “APC” means. We can do everything you can. We just look cuter doing it....and our camo may be pink. Don’t show us any mercy for being women and I promise we won’t show you any mercy for being men.

Face it guys, gamer chicks are here to stay. Females represent 40% of the total gaming population. Don't believe me? Check out: the stats from the ESA. Oh, and in case I didn’t remind you enough, we can kick your ass.